despair

Rollercoaster

I recently let a situation turn into a rollercoaster ride. It's lasted two weeks. Without even thinking twice I slid into the front car of what might as well have been called "The Cyclone." It was a bigun'. The kind with all the thrills - climbing slowly uphill, inching along feeling like you could slide backwards, then getting to the top where you're hanging, perilously perched on the peak right before you--WHOOSH--go screaming downward, losing your stomach, feeling like you're gonna crash. Then the loop-de-loops corkscrew you upside down and around until finally you're right-side up, cruise back into the station and get off feeling nauseous and shaky.

What caused this impromptu spin? The usual. Things and stuff. It was one of those deals that had all the bells and whistles that can cause hysteria; great need, an application, approvals, underwriting, West coast-East coast time difference, signatures, a contract, overnight Fed-Ex delivery. Just another kind of situation I've successfully navigated before. But I totally forgot that. It wasn't life or death. No one was sick, no organs or limbs were in peril. It just felt dire and desperate and I let it take me for a wild ride.

Why do we do that to ourselves? I know better (see "When it's Right it Rolls" http://wp.me/p1v3PS-7F). I write this not to elicit sympathy but because I know I'm not alone. These times seem to create a whirling dervish that can cut quite a path. We have to turn to each other to find our balance and perspective. Sometimes that's a soothing conversation about keeping the faith and sometimes it's a bracing, loudly delivered wake-up call that it's time to cowgirl up because tough times don't last but tough people do. I'm grateful for them both; for someone to step in when my ability to reason stepped out.

I hope that when the next challenge comes I'll decline the rollercoaster ride in favor of better management skills. If not, I know two fabulous Broads who will set me straight.